


Kisses

by anything_for_armin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Because I'm A Sensitive Little Bitch, Character Death, Crying, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Literally Have No Idea How To Do Tags I'm So Sorry, I Made Myself Cry, I Think This Counts As Heavy Angst?, I'm so sorry, It Starts Out Really Nice And Then Gets Angsty As Fuck, M/M, Tags Are Hard, please forgive me for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:46:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29996142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anything_for_armin/pseuds/anything_for_armin
Summary: People within the walls grew up on a saying. A saying so old it's precise words were long forgotten, however the idea still remained. The saying goes as follows:"Each person has four kisses to give throughout life. The "first kiss" - one that is innocent and fleeting. The second kiss - a kiss of pure love. The third kiss - a kiss of lust. The fourth and final one is a kiss of sorrow - the kiss of death."Armin and Eren had shared the first three.It seemed that now they'd share the fourth.!I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF THIS COUNTS AS GRAPHIC BUT THERE ARE SOME DESCRIPTIONS OF INJURY IN THIS. PLEASE DON'T READ IF THIS AFFECTS YOU NEGATIVELY!
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> !I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF THIS COUNTS AS GRAPHIC BUT THERE ARE SOME DESCRIPTIONS OF INJURY IN THIS. PLEASE DON'T READ IF THIS AFFECTS YOU NEGATIVELY!
> 
> Ouch. That's all I have to say. Writing this hurt me more than I'd like to admit. Please do not read if you are in a horrible mental state.
> 
> (Again, this work is also not a part of the series because it doesn't revolve around the titan powers) 
> 
> !ALSO FOR SOME REASON I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY THIS (yes, again) BUT I DO NOT OWN ATTACK ON TITAN OR ANYTHING RELATED TO IT (apart from this work ofc) I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED, AND ALL CREDITS GO TO HAJIME ISAYAMA AND HONESTLY IDK IF I EVEN NEED TO MENTION THIS BUT ALL ANIMATION CREDITS GO TO WIT STUDIO AND MAPPA!

Armin Arlert, like many people who grew up within the confinements of the walls, had heard numerous sayings throughout his childhood. Some made absolutely no sense to him, the words far too old and ancient for his young mind to even comprehend their meaning. Others were fun and silly, making him smile every time one of them popped up in his memory. There was one saying in particular, however, that seemed to stick with him ever since he had first heard it. A saying so old, it's words were long forgotten by the people of the districts, the origin of it unknown. The idea seemed to remain, however, despite the fact that the saying may not have been told in its' original form. The saying goes as follows:

_"Each person has four kisses to give throughout life. The "first kiss" - one that is innocent and fleeting. The second kiss - a kiss of pure love. The third kiss - a kiss of lust. The fourth and final one is different from the others, for it is a kiss of sorrow - the kiss of death."_

As a child, the thought of kissing someone else excited Armin quite a lot, the thought of such a loving action making happiness coil its' way throughout his insides and made his stomach turn all fluttery. He couldn't wait until he found the person he'd share his kisses with, couldn't wait until he found the person he'd surely love more than he did himself. Despite this, he wasn't all too fond of the idea of the fourth one. "The last kiss". An act of goodbye. An act of love to help your beloved pass peacefully. 

Armin knew deep inside that he probably wouldn't share all four with the same person because, you see, in most cases your first kiss doesn't end up being the person you'd forever spend your life with. However, that certainly wouldn't stop him from trying. He'd had many opportunities to kiss another, during silly games between children or when a certain girl from his class would fawn over him. He didn't seem to fancy her in that way, though, declining her offer, as sweet as it was.

Armin remembered his first kiss well. It was a bright, sunny day and he was sitting in the familiar clearing with none other than his best friend. They'd been tasked with collecting firewood, and though they'd already finished long ago they decided to stay seated for just a little longer, relishing in the warm sunlight and the beautiful shade the trees cast upon them, as well as the multiple types of flowers that seemed to bloom all year long. The box of thick sticks leaning against the nearby tree, long forgotten, swayed in the slight wind, and as a stronger breeze swept across them, the box tipped over, spilling its' contents all over the green grass.

"Damn it" Eren mumbled as he sat up from his former position of laying spread out on the soft earth, his face contorting into a small frown as he watched the sticks roll just out of reach.

"It's alright. We'll just put them back and maybe get home after that. Your mom will worry if you get there too late" Armin reassured him, already starting to gather them in his arms.

"You're right" Eren sighed. "I wish we could stay here longer. It really is nice out today"

"Me too" Armin replied, his small arms shaking from the strain of holding so many things at one.

They continued in silence, no sound was heard apart from the whistle of the wind and the clattering of sticks being dropped into their small box. They stood back as they finished, admiring their work. Armin turned to Eren, about to insist they head back, but then Eren was suddenly leaning over, pressing his lips to Armin's cheek. Armin gasped as Eren pulled back, a small muttering of "Eren?" escaping his lips before Eren started speaking again.

"Thank you for helping me Armin. You truly are a good friend"

"But... Eren... Friends-friends aren't supposed to kiss like that. Why did you kiss me?" Armin whispered, unable to meet the green eyes staring at him intently. He knew it didn't count, Eren had only kissed his cheek, much like his mother used to do when he was little. Still, friends were not supposed to kiss. Kisses were meant for lovers and family.

"Who said they couldn't? Soulmates don't really have to be lovers, do they Armin? I think soulmates can be friends too. Because, you see, a soulmate is someone who you trust, someone who you care for above all else, and that sounds a lot like friendship to me don't you think? So what harm would it be if our first kiss was a kiss between friends?"

Armin looked up at him, pondering his words for a moment, before nodding and leaning a little closer to Eren, letting him press their lips together. It was soft, and warm, and safe. Innocent and fleeting. _The first kiss_.

Armin remembered his second kiss as well, remembered the late night confessions on the roof of HQ, how his heart nearly soared out of his chest as Eren admitted he felt the same way. Remembered how they'd cried and laughed that night, remembered the way Eren cupped his face and leaned in, pressing their lips together for the second time. It was a moment of acceptance, a beautiful moment where they had each realized who they were, all puzzle pieces finally falling into place. It was sweet, and caring, and exciting. It was a kiss of pure love. _The second kiss_.

"The moon is beautiful isn't it?" Eren whispered as they laid on the roof watching the night sky, the tiles digging into their backs.

Armin gasped, turning to look at him with wide blue eyes. When Eren didn't meet his eyes he realized that he might just have meant it, curling himself closer to the boy he loved so much and whispering "yeah. It really is".

The third kiss - well the third kiss was slightly different. Messy lips and hands and locked doors and the fear of someone walking into the dorms. I'll spare you the details though, especially since Armin couldn't quite remember what had happened that night, it was pretty much a blur. What he did remember though, was the kiss they'd shared. Deep with emotions of all kind, an excitement coiling in both their chests. _The third kiss_ \- a kiss of lust.

As they laid in bed, sweating and vulnerable, Armin realized he had, in fact, managed to keep the promise he'd made back then as a child. He'd shared all three of his kisses with the same person after all. 

His stomach dropped, however, at the realization that there was but one kiss left, and the fact that he'd kept his promise was now one of the worst conclusions he'd come to in his entire life. Because if Armin were to continue to keep his promise and share his kisses with Eren and Eren only, well one of them would have to be the one to deliver the last kiss, to watch as the life in their lovers' eyes slowly leeched away as they took their last breath and were carried into unconsciousness. _Forever_. Armin decided not to focus on that at the moment, choosing instead to sigh contently at the fact that they had plenty of time until they'd have to worry about that sort of thing.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Eren and Armin had shared all three of their kisses with each other.

A kiss of innocence.

A kiss of love.

A kiss of lust.

And now, as they stood amongst the bloody corpses of their friends and comrades, it seemed that they'd share the last.

There were no sounds to be heard, apart from the cracking of bones and the screams of agony as their fellow squad members succumbed to the cruel arms of death, and Armin pitied them so, for they wouldn't be able to feel the love of their partner as they were crushed between giant jaws.

And although the screams and sobs and pleas for mercy were all too loud for him to bear, Armin found that the silence of the corpses was way louder. Their friends, their comrades, who he'd eaten breakfast with not a day ago now laid in the grass, bloodstained remains silent and unmoving, their eyes frozen in horror. Dead.

Armin didn't let his emotions distract him, _couldn't_ let his emotions distract him as he let his gear pull him in various directions as he tried his best to eliminate all the titans that had ambushed them. The time to grieve would come later, now he just had to focus on the way his blades swung through the air, killing those ghastly beings who'd terrorized them for years upon years.

Armin tried to focus. He really did. However he couldn't help but get distracted as someone fell to the ground, screaming in pain.

Armin couldn't help but get distracted because, you see, that was _**his**_ someone who had fallen to the ground.

"Eren!" he screeched as he willed his gear to move faster, to get him to his boyfriend faster. "Eren what happened, are you okay? What's wron-" Armin trailed off as he saw the gaping hole in Eren's stomach, his hands barely holding in his insides. "Fuck Eren oh my god" he yelled as he took in the horrible sight, removing his cape in order to try and press it down on the gaping wound.

It was no good. They both knew that.

"Armin... Stop" Eren croaked, grabbing Armin's wrist to pull him away.

"No! No! I won't let you die like this Eren! You-you can't! I won't let you! I won't let you I won't let you I won't let you I won't-" he rambled frantically as sobs suddenly shook his body. When had he started crying? He didn't know. Maybe when he realized his efforts wouldn't do any good. Maybe he started crying when his cape was soaked in blood and yet the red liquid continued dripping down Eren's sides. Maybe it was when he realized that even if Eren managed to somehow survive right now he'd still be dead within a few hours, for you see his horrible injury was way beyond their medical knowledge. Maybe it was when he realized that Eren had given up, and that he was expecting him to do the same.

"Armin" Eren continued, his green eyes staring deep into his very soul. The eyes that had been so bright and determined as the titans approached, the same ones that were now tired and dull. "Listen Armin. It's too big of an injury. I'll be dead before the sun sets, even if I somehow survive right now. So just let go. Let it happen. Let me rest, Armin, please don't fight it. You have to let me go"

Armin gasped as sobs shook his body, clasping Eren's hands between his own in a grip so tight he though he might just explode. He shook his head, refusing to believe it. But Eren was right. Eren was right and he knew that.

"Armin, baby, angel. I love you so much. I love you so so much. And I will always love you. Forever" he took a deep breath before continuing, tears of his own leaking down his face. "I don't want you to be sad forever. Please don't be sad forever for me sweetheart. I want you to live, I want you to explore. You'll see the ocean, remember? And I'll be there with you every step of the way, I promise. Take care of yourself for me alright angel? Because we both know you don't know how to do that" he chuckled slightly at his own words, coughing a little as he started to feel floaty and lightheaded.

Armin couldn't do anything but sob, hold Eren's hand close as blood seeped into the earth, turning the ground a deeper shade of brown. "I love you Eren, I love you so much" he managed to get out somehow, his throat closing in on him the second he squeezed the words out.

Eren suddenly gasped, flinching as a new wave of pain overtook him, the tears in his eyes spilling over. "Armin" he whimpered, his eyes staring off into the distance, glassy and unable to focus any more. 

_"Armin, it hurts"_

_"Armin please make it stop"_

Armin felt his heart shatter, right then and there, into a million tiny pieces. He felt his soul rip from his body as tears streamed down his face and he struggled to breathe.

"I know it hurts. But it'll stop soon. It'll stop soon baby, I promise. You're gonna be just fine. You're gonna rest now. Doesn't that sound nice?" he asked, running his fingers through brown hair, stained with sweat and blood.

"Yeah. Sounds nice... 'M tired. Wanna sleep" Eren slurred, his voice weak and delirious. He gasped as more pain over took his body, causing him to clench his fists and whimper as he squeezed more tears out of his eyes. "Armin. I-it really hurts. Do you- do you think you can kiss it better?" he asked, his green eyes suddenly growing focused as he looked upon his lover for what would probably be the last time.

Armin couldn't say anything. Couldn't respond because Eren's words were breaking his heart, and everything was too much for him to take, his heart beating so fast it _hurt_ and he just couldn't take it anymore. And so he did the only thing he could do - he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Eren's, a last act of comfort, his tears making it taste of salt.

"Thank you" Eren breathed, his chest heaving with effort. 

"I love you so much Armin"

"I love you too"

And with that, Eren's eyes became unfocused once more, his lips stretching into a smile as his chest stopped heaving. He was at rest, put out of his misery, of the suffering of this horrible horrible world, the knowledge that Armin loved him more than anything in the world giving him peace as he took his very last breath. It seemed that Eren was breathtakingly beautiful - even in death.

 _"Eren"_ Armin whimpered as he took in his lover's dull eyes. 

_"Eren please don't leave me"_

And there it was, _the last kiss_. A kiss Armin would surely never forget. It wasn't lovely and sweet and caring. No. This kiss tasted of blood and sweat and tears. It tasted of sorrow and bitterness. Most of all, it tasted of goodbyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really like this. It's short and made me cry. I also didn't sleep at all because for some reason I've been roomed with a toddler. Please forgive me for this and I'm really sorry if I made anyone sad.


End file.
